Google Horoscopes Really Want Me to Get Fired

God, yesterday they were all "leave work to get a pedicure and tell your boss you're going to Staples" and today they're all:

Career issues may be muddled today and the harder you try to figure out what's really going on, the more confusing it gets (Read: no one here understands me). You might attempt to persuade others to your point of view, but it's difficult to be convincing when you don't have enough clarity (Read: even when I write what I'm trying to say on my face in lipstick, they don't understand me). Loosening the reins of control, however, will probably work out in your favor (Read: remember in Office Space, when Ron Livingston's character stopped giving a fuck and got promoted?).

OK, so work really isn't that bad, but why does my horoscope keep trying to get me in trouble?